Saturday, August 18, 2018

"But who says I'm pregnant?"


"Congratulations on your pregnancy," an acquaintance said a few weeks ago to me. I was invited to a lovely balcony party and I was wearing the same dress. Pregnancy?!? It's one of those moments when you really think - what should I say now? I smiled, looked in front of myself and noticed that I was holding a glass of white wine. A little mischief sparked in me, so I raised the glass and said: "Let's drink a glass of wine to these news!"  

Quite obviously, the acquaintance was no Sherlock, because there's no doubt that pregnant women shouldn't drink alcohol. But her face went serious and she asked - surprised - if I was really drinking wine. "Why not?" I replied and took a big gulp. "You shouldn't drink when expecting..." she continued. "But who says I'm pregnant?" I asked her. The story came to an end when I explained that the middle part of the dress isn't holding very well, and if I am honest, I didn't think it would be so bad as to make people think I am expecting. We both laughed. 

This dress is an absolute favourite of mine on hot summer nights, so I have worn it again and again: But nobody has congratulated me on my pregnancy more. The trick is simple - I tightened the dress a little with a strawberry-shaped brooch and now I've been telling people this story.   

But writing these lines, I started thinking - do all of us have a moment in our lives when we have falsely congratulated someone on their pregnancy? I have done it once. When I was kindly told that there is no baby on the way, I wished for the earth to open and me to quietly sink into it. So I made a decision - if it really looks like someone is expecting, I won't say anything. If people want to announce their big news, I'll surely root for it. How about you? Have you congratulated anyone on a non-existent pregnancy or had to receive erroneous congrats?


Outfit details: 

Dress: handmade
Shoes: Louise et Cie
Straw clutch: vintage Bequizo 
Earrings: vintage Les Bernard
Necklace: J.Crew Brooch: vintage Wristwatch: Seiko




"Palju õnne beebiootuse puhul!" ütles üks tuttav mulle paar nädalat tagasi. Olin kutsutud toredale terrassipeole ja kandsin seljas sedasama kleiti. Beebiootus!? See on üks nendest hetkedest, kus jääd hetkeks päris tõsiselt mõttesse, et mida peaks nüüd ütlema? Naeratasin, vaatasin enda ette ja märkasin, et hoian käes klaasi valge veiniga. Äkitselt ärkas minus üks väike vigur ja nii tõstsin klaasi ning ütlesin: "Kas võtame selle uudise nimel klaasikese veini?"

Ilmselgelt polnud mu tuttav Sherlock, sest pole kahtlust, et rasedad naised alkoholi ei joo. Kuid nüüd vajus ta näost ära. "Sa jood veini?" küsis ta imestunult. "Miks mitte?" vastasin ja rüüpasin hooletult klaasist ilmselgelt tavalisest suurema lonksu. "Rasedusega ju ei jooda üldse..." jätkas mu tuttav. "Aga kes ütleb, et ma rase olen?" küsisin vastu. Lõpuks lahenes see lugu. Mina selgitasin, et kleidi keskmine osa hoiab halvasti ja kui aus olla, siis ma ei arvanud, et suisa nii halvasti, et mind rasedaks peetakse. Saime mõlemad naerda. See kleit on nendel kuumadel suveõhtutel olnud minu täielik lemmik, seega olen seda veel ja veel kandnud. Kuid mitte keegi pole mind enam raseduse puhul õnnitlenud. Trikk on lihtne: tõmbasin kleidi suure maasikakujulise prossiga pisut koomale ja nüüd olen seda lugu seltskonnas edasi rääkinud. 

Kuid neid ridu kirjutades jäin mõttesse: kas meist igaühe elus on hetk, kui oleme kedagi ekslikult raseduse puhul õnnitlenud? Ma ise olen seda korra teinud. Kui mulle öeldi lahkelt, et mingit beebit pole tulemas, soovisin, et maa avaneks ja ma saaksin sinna vaikselt vajuda. Seega võtsin vastu otsuse - kui mulle nii kangesti näib, et keegi ootab last, siis siis ei küsi ma enam midagi. Kui inimesed soovivad oma suurt uudist ise teatada, siis elan mõistagi rõõmuga kaasa ja õnnitlen. Kuidas on lood sinuga? Kas oled mõnd tuttavat olematu raseduse puhul õnnitlenud või pidanud ise eksitavaid õnnitlusi vastu võtma? Kuidas need "õnnitlused" on lahenenud? 




PHOTOS: Kristin Arniste
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Wednesday, August 15, 2018

What is the best compliment you've ever received?


Some years ago, I read a smart tip that recommended keeping a diary of compliments - meaning that if someone gave me a compliment, I would write it down. I have no idea where I left that diary eventually, but it would be interesting to read it today. One thing is sure though - the compliments from back in the day are probably not something that I would hold in very high regard today.  

It's often said about Estonians that they don't know how to accept compliments. It applies to both women and men. This topic came up recently at a rather fun dinner party when everyone around the table had to remember three of the funniest compliments they have ever received. So I thought I should share my three compliments with you, because much fun was had at the table.  

The first one is actually just a question that I took as a compliment. Namely, I like my Finnish sauna hot and steamy, so I throw a lot of water on the rocks and I kept doing it this one time in a spa. There was just one man in the sauna with me who suddenly asked whether I was Finnish. I said I was local. He added, with an undertone of approval, that saunas this hot are usually the work of Finnish women. By the way, in some Finnish saunas (that we have a lot of in Estonian spas), I have managed to deter quite a few unwanted gentlemen with the heat.  

Another compliment that made my heart sing is actually from the culinary section. I baked a couple of big pies for my husband's colleagues on the occasion of his birthday and ordered a taxi to take them there. I got in the car with the pies and they smelled rather delicious. I had driven with that taxi driver before and all of a sudden he turned to me and asked whether I had baked those myself. I said of course. The taxi driver turned around and said it was incredible that I'd made them myself. I think it's another one of those amusing moments where you can be offended, because the taxi driver assumed - as it came out from the conversation that followed - that I could not cook. I decided to take it as a compliment, because it was a truly fun assumption.  

The third compliment is from a few years back when I had a work meeting with a gentleman who offered a lunch that had several courses. So I was eating and eating and eating and eventually, the gentleman said: "You eat so much!" I was at a loss, but he came to the rescue: "It's admirable. Most women I go dine with, eat like little birdies and are always on a diet. They take one piece of lettuce and leave it on the plate." That was a compliment with a twist, because I really do have a big appetite...  What are the most fun compliments you have received?


Outfit details:

Shoes: MIU MIU
Dress: Novashe
Crossbody: vintage Chanel
Wristwatch: Technomarine
Earrings: Pi-Ret Jewellery



Aastaid tagasi lugesin üht nutikat soovitust pidada päevikut komplimentidest. Keegi keegi tegi mulle komplimendi, siis panin selle kirja. Mul pole aimugi, kuhu selle päeviku lõpuks jätsin, kuid seda oleks päris põnev täna lugeda. Üks on selge - kunagised komplimendid ei ole ilmselt need, millest täna lugu pean.

Eesti inimeste kohta öeldakse sageli, et nad ütlevad enda kohta: "Oh, mis nüüd mina!" ega oska komplimente vastu võtta. See käivad nii naiste kui meeste kohta. Hiljuti tõusis komplimentide teema päevakorda, kui ühe lustaka õhtusöögi käigus pidi kogu laudkond meenutama kolme kõige lõbusamat komplimenti, mille oleme saanud. Seega mõtlesin oma kolme komplimenti ka sinuga jagada, sest jagatud kompliment on jagatud kompliment. Pealegi sai meie seltskonnas palju nalja. 

Olgu öeldud, et esikohal on lihtsalt üks lõbus küsimus, mida mina võtsin kohemaid komplimendina. Nimelt armastan ma Soome saunas kõvasti leili visata ja ühel korral SPA-s valasin leili aina juurde. Minuga koos oli saunas vaid üks mees, kes küsis äkitselt: "Oletko suomalainen?" ehk "Kas oled soomlane?" Vastasin, et olen kohalik. Ta lisas tunnustavalt, et nii kuuma sauna viskavad tavaliselt vaid Soome naised. Muide, Soome saunades, mida Eesti SPA-des palju leidub, on mul õnnestunud üsna mitu pealetükkiva jutuga härrat kenasti välja leilitada. 


Teine kompliment, mis mind rõõmustas, on aga hoopis toidutegemise valdkonnast. Kord küpsetasin abikaasa sünnipäeva puhul tema kolleegidele mitu suurt pirukat ja tellisin siis takso, et need kohale viia. Istusin soojade pakitud pirukatega autosse, kus nad lõhnasid üsna isuäratavalt. Olin selle taksojuhiga ka varem sõitnud, äkitselt pöördus ta minu poole ning küsis: "Kas ise küpsetasite need?" Vastasin, et ikka, kuidas siis muidu. Taksojuht vaatas seejärel korraks seljataha ja teatas: "Uskumatu! Ise tegite!" Mu meelest järjekordne meeleolukas seik, kus on võimalik kas solvuda, sest tegelikult taksojuht eeldas hilisema vestluse käigus, et ilmselt ei oska isegi mitte muna praadida. Mina otsustasin seda komplimendi pähe võtta, sest see oli tõeliselt lõbus oletus.  

Kolmas kompliment jääb paari aasta taha, kui käisin ühe härraga tööalasel kohtumisel, kus ta pakkus mitmekäigulise lõuna. Mina siis muudkui sõin ja sõin ning lõpuks lausus see härra: "Ta sööte nii palju!" Ma olin üsna nõutu, kuid ta päästis mind koheselt mu kimbatusest: "See on imetlusväärne. Enamik naisi, kellega ma einestamas käin, söövad nagu värvukesed ja on pidevalt dieedil. Võetakse üks salatileht ja see jääb ka lõpuks järgi." See oli minu arvates selline tvistiga kompliment, sest ma olen tõesti suure isuga ...  

Mis on kõige lõbusamad komplimendid, mida sina oled saanud? Muide, see ruuduline kleit on sel suvel palju komplimente kogunud, kuid need sinised ja valged ruudud on alati lummavad, kas pole!?


PHOTOS: Kristin Arniste
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